What HP character do you identify with most and why?
Sirius Black. I’ve always got a strong urge to rebel against authority and question most rules I come across. I’d hate to be a “part of the machine”. I want to think for myself, stay open-minded and unbiased. I have almost an obsessive need for freedom, I don’t want to be dependent on anything or anyone. (Which makes romantic relationships sort of difficult (attachment issues)) I think that being addicted to anything, that is counterproductive to my own personal development, is weakness of mind. Also just like him, I am also sort of a black sheep of my family, although I have not been disinherited (yet). I’ve never felt much of a sense of belonging with the exception of my siblings. This is mostly because my family is very strongly religious and I very strongly am not. I have a special permission from my mother that I am not obliged to attend the bigger family gatherings, as it has caused several conflicts between me and especially the older, conservative generation.
What one moment in the books was the most meaningful to you?
Sirius Black dying. I hated it and OotF is my least favorite book because of it. I was very young when I read the book for the first time but even back then I grew very attached to this character. To me, his death felt too unfair and unnecessary to the plot. (except Harry’s dreams of a happy future died with him and maybe because of that he didn’t mind sacrificing himself for the Wizarding World, didn’t have as much to lose, did he???) That scene bothers me enough to leave a bad taste and I’ve nursed my broken heart with probably hundreds of fanfictions so far.
In some subconscious level I also may have felt like I will end up alone and dead when I get older because I lacked the full support of a family, like Sirius Black.
What would you see if you looked into the Mirror of Erised?
Myself (maybe a tiny bit taller) and with the special kind of emotion on my face that in every level of my being I know that I am enough and I don’t need to prove myself to anyone in any kind of way. I grew up under the assumption that I Am Loved When I Succeed. It was exhausting and not healthy at all. I have actually slightly grasped this feeling of being enough with the thought pattern that God does exist, and he hates me, and for the last twenty years has tried very hard to make my life as miserable as possible to get me to off myself or in some way give up, but despite that, I am still here! Hah! I have outmaneuvered a god. And that feeling, dear readers, is intoxicating.
If you were to become headmaster at Hogwarts, what is one thing you would change about the school or how it operates?
Headmaster does not teach lessons or engage with students regularly or systematically. Therefore the headmaster can hardly know what is good for said students' wellbeing. I would hire school counselors for each House. Their task would be to take care of the students’ mental health. Heads of Houses I think are supposedly doing that but there should be some professional adults focusing solely on mental health, bullying, abuse from families etcof the children. Nobody knows what kind of school is most healthy and comfortable environment to learn better than the students themselves, who open up to these counselors about anything that bothers them. They can then take the students’ wishes forward to the headmaster and make school better than ever.
If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it, and what would you call it?
I came up with a fourth Unforgivable curse. It is called Curse of Chaos, and the incantation is bellum omnium contra omnes. Some of you might recognize it. It means “the war of all against all,” and I got the idea from an English Philosopher Thomas Hobbes. The curse would turn everyone in perhaps about 20m radius (except for the caster) into bloodthirsty savages. The curse causes them to forget everything except for the need to fight and hurt and kill with their claws and teeth. Past alliances, wands, magic, fear, and all common sense cease to exist for the duration of the spell that will eventually wear off depending on the strength of the casters magic. The curse does not have a deeper meaning or purpose. It is simply meant to cause chaos. Perhaps it can be used as a distraction for escaping if one is surrounded by enemies and there is time to only cast one spell, and apparition or turning invisible is not possible. Or a deterrent in a war.
You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one Harry Potter character other than Hagrid and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you'd want with you.
Absolutely Severus Snape. At least in this situation I believe he would be the most capable of keeping me alive. The most obvious object to grab would be a portkey. But if the objective was to get as far as possible, then I cannot take a run for it every time I hear a leaf fall, so a broom, which is very boring but will achieve the goal better than for example a machine gun or something of the sort.
What was your ideal job as a child? What is your ideal job now? Do you think it would be the same in the Wizarding World?
As a child I always wanted to be a pilot or at least anything that would have me travelling constantly around the world and not stay in one place. Now I want to become a scientist and study anthropology and learn all about mythology, cultures and philosophy and other things around the world. I keep having this thought that one day another intelligent being will arrive here from somewhere from outer space and I want to present the best of humanity to them.
I think it is extremely important to document all of the dying native cultures and languages that there are. (In the middle ages, Catholic Church destroyed unknown amount of knowledge because it contradicted their personal views. It is entirely possible that Aristoteles discovered a higher being but it was not the Christian God so we will never know of it again. I don't want something like this to happen againin the future.)
I am also terribly intrigued my sociology and what causes masses of people to function in certain ways. In the Wizarding World I would love to study these things even more than now, but as far as I understand, that is unfortunately frowned upon by the Ministry.
What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?
The decisions concerning my future, career-wise especially. I have so many dreams and goals to achieve and I fear that if I choose one path, it will close doors from me. I fear that I would have to pick one dream and give up all the others. Which often causes me to postpone any and all decisions concerning the said dreams and then they most certainly will not come to be.
If you had the opportunity to live forever, under what conditions would you accept? And if you did choose to live forever, what would you do with eternity?
I would accept it under the conditions that I would be the only person ever to be immortal and I would have the power to grant immortality to anyone I want and also take it back if I want to do so. With my eternity I would learn all the knowledge there is in the world and most likely start a religion.
What is one thing you would never want said about you?
I would absolutely detest hearing anyone say that I am stupid or not very good at something that is really important to me. It is sort of a meaningless thing to hate, but understandable with the way I grew up, as I mentioned earlier. Also, I like to think myself as intelligent to the point that a huge part of my identity revolves around that. I would rather loose my arms and legs than my ability to think. Although I would not mind being smarter than I am now. I am working on that. Other, more shallow thing would be people saying I’m just like everyone else. I try very hard to not come off as the “special snowflake” but I can’t always help it. As a great example, I got these really cool colorful pants for a gift and then I saw a nightmare where I was in a mall and there was some random person who wore the same pants. (The horror!) And my unconscious automatically thought: “Damn, now I can never wear those pants again.”
Do you believe that moral actions should be judged by the intentions behind them, or by the consequences they create?
I believe that there should be a balance that inclines toward the consequences. I find myself quite often thinking in a very utilitaristic way. For example, I do not mind ruining the world economy and causing a part of the worlds population to go bankrupt and starve if it meant saving our planets climate and the future of humanity from inevitable doom. Intention matters less, as it is often counterproductive to any goal that one wishes to achieve. Still, a criminal should be put in prison even if their victim survives the attempted murder. We cannot completely forget about intentions because we are human beings with emotions and not machines.
What do you look for in a friend?
A friend is someone, who is useful to you, someone you respect and appreciate enough that you let them use you in turn. I do not look for anything specific in a friend, as I have different friends for different needs. Someone for emotional support, someone I play Minecraft with, someone I rant about human rights, etc. It would be unreasonable to demand one person to answer all of my needs. In turn, I also offer different kind of help and advice and company to different people.
What trait most annoys you about other people?
Unwillingness to think. There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who think, and those who do not except when you demand it from them and then hold their hand to guide them trough the procedure of using their brain. People who mindlessly follow the mass are counterproductive to the development of humanity as a whole. They use this planets resources to live a simple and meaningless life while that oxygen they waste with their existence could be used to something more important. It annoys me that some people are satisfied with being a working class hero when there are so many things to undiscover in this world, so many things that need to be done.
What do you think are your top five abilities or qualities?
1. Creativity – facing any kind of choice, I compulsively think: “What would most people choose in this situation? Is there any different way to do this?” And I feel disappointment to myself when I find myself doing something the exact same way as others if I later find a better way.
2. Imagination – I am a hardcore daydreamer. I found this term, Maladaptive Daydreaming, and I believe it very much applies to me. I can daydream to the point if very closely resembles lucid dreaming. When my mental health is low enough, I tend to loose my interest in reality because the adventures inside my head are so much cooler. But I still don’t think it is a bad trait. I love my daydreams.
3. Artistic abilities – as a kid, I made good profit by regularly winning drawing competitions. Back then it was very easy to be the best of my age group. These days not so much. Now I am just your typical struggling artist. But I am still better than anyone I know personally, and I automatically hate everyone who I meet who is better than me except if they are at least ten years older.
4. Profiling – I love analyzing people. I was originally supposed to go study psychology in university but I was afraid of the teacher so I chose sociology instead. Profiling is other thing I believe I’m very good at. I’ve made people very impressed with seeming to know them completely after just a couple of thorough conversations with them. I think is fun to sum people up in a couple of sentences. Or tell them to their face what is most likely their deepest fear and which childhood trauma caused it.
5. Confidence – I am a teenager who sometimes hangs out with other teenagers and complaining about one’s looks seems to be very common. I am eternally grateful for the fact that fore some reason I have been spared of the general insecurity that is seen on people of my age or younger. I have dry skin and weird toes and plenty of other “mistakes” in my body but for some reason I do not care. I think I’m hella good looking and I don’t know why. Beauty should not be objective.
What do you think are your top five weaknesses or worst qualities?
1. Let us start with physical weaknesses as I do not enjoy criticizing myself too much. The one thing that bothers me the most is that I cannot remember the last day there was not something health-wise wrong with my body. There is always some part of me, physical and mental, that is in pain. I don’t have a very good immunity system and it bothers me a lot.
2. I tend to completely forget about discretion if I have not previously reminded myself that it is needed in this specific situation. It has a lot to do with my confidence. I am not that afraid of embarrassing myself. I can stand being laughed at, if it means lifting the spirit and sense of solidary in a social situation. But sometimes I blurt out things that are not proper to the situation at all. (Example: I was visiting partner’s mother for the first time and we were watching Escape Plan, the mother says she is a fan of Sylvester Stallone, I asked if she knew that Stallone started his acting career with doing porn in the 70’s… )
3. Another way in which not thinking before I speak is that I have this not very well working logic that if what I’m about to say to someone else would not offend me, it cannot offend others either. I’ve accidentally hurt peoples feelings too many times to count. Now I’ve slowly learnt to give a warning that I’m about to say something radical, so that when they encourage me to speak anyways, It’ll be their own fault for getting their feelings hurt. Works like a dream.
4. I take criticism too heavily. I want to hear it. I want to improve myself in any way possible. I work on it a lot. I am a perfectionist. Which means that any time someone points out something is wrong or bad in me, I need to cry myself to sleep as way of processing it. But after that I’m usually my normal overconfident self again.
5. I’m an asshole. I love being mean. I love wordplays and finding new creative ways to insult people. I actually write them down in my notes when I come up with a really good one. Verbal combat is where I thrive (at least in the conversations happening inside my head) Sometimes (often) I take this too far, and I’ve taken a habit of regularly asking people if they are mad at me for something that I’ve said because it has happened so many times.
Where did you find out about us? I don’t have any friends who love the HP universe as much as I do. I was lonely and decided to Google if there are any existing communities I could join. This came up. I have no idea how LJ even works but I’ll learn.
Do you plan on being active in the communities once you are sorted? I shall try my best. I haven’t tried this before, but I do spend ungodly amount of time in the internet so I don’t think this’ll be a problem.